Fashion banter between a wannabe fashion girl and her non-fashion boyfriend
– Favourites from Paris Fashion Week 2014
ME: I’m obsessing over blankets at the moment…
BF: I think it actually looks nice, it doesn’t hurt my eyes, it’s not flashy, and the yellow bag actually works. The only downside is that she will have to stay away from coffee and wine (basically the only things worth drinking).
ME: So you won’t frown in shame at me if I start wearing blankets/panchos?
BF: As long as you dont run ahead shouting “Matthew, does my poncho swish when I run!?”
ME: I can’t promise that.
BF: The poncho makes less sense in this one. It’s just going to slip down. Also, I’m afraid of those boots, because cats like dangly things that swish and those heels are very pointy. She will end up killing some kittens.
ME: Fringe is soooooo in this season though! Although admittedly, I’m not that into it… well not on shoes anyway. We can’t all be Pocahontas.
BF: Correct me if im wrong. But she has a leather jacket on right?
ME: Um, yes, she does.
BF: So she’s wearing both a jacket and a poncho? Except she’s wearing the poncho as a scarf, basically just giving herself backache?
ME: Again, layering, it’s a thing.
BF: That’s not layering, that’s just wearing all your things and making it worse. Look how Vince and Howard wear ponchos. They wear them properly. Over the head, a hole cut specifically so it doesn’t slip down.
(As a side note: I would like to see all these women after some rain. They are going to be walking like a hunchback…)
BF: There’s no shape in the dress. It makes her look like a pole…
ME: She probably is a pole. I love the coat though.
BF: I know what she could wear – She could just go into any South African suburban home and take some horse brass wall ornaments, and wear them as a belt.
ME: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
ME: Oh, yeah, now I know what you mean. Look at you playing stylist with household objects!
ME: This is adorable!
BF: SO MANY TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS. Also, the dress is too short, and is a terrible shape.
ME: It’s a dress?
BF: Is it just a coat?
ME: I actually don’t know anymore.
BF: Do you know why fashion insists on making women wear winter items with summer? There’s no point.
ME: Some days are a bit cooler than others? And also, Paris is going into Autumn now, so it’s not 30 degrees every day.
BF: Yet they wear no pants.
ME: HAVE YOU SEEN HER LEGS? I would never wear pants if I had her legs.
BF: Women’s legs are mostly wonderful things. But if you’re going to show them off, don’t come complain that your legs are cold.
ME: That’s Ulyana Sergeenko, she’s a Russian designer. She’s amazing, I love her.
BF: She looks cute and mean at the same time.
ME: BUT having said that, I wouldn’t be surprised if has little cups attached to her ankles collecting all the sweat from those leather dungarees. She’s WERQING that sass though!
BF: You can see no one is going up to talk to her because they know after all that squeaking, she’s probably about to snap at any wrong move.
ME: I wonder what sound it makes when she walks?
BF: Probably something like this:
ME: YES! Cryyyyyying laughing!
ME: I can’t move on from pajama outerwear. I’m obsessed, clearly.
BF: It looks terrible. Those pj’s, outside. Especially the black one.
ME: Well I do in fact love the blue one more. I NEED IT.
BF: It doesn’t make sense to me.
ME: It’s chic AND comfortable, what’s not to understand?
(Images from style.com, FWStreetStyle.com, Harpers Bazaar.com, Vogue.co.uk)